Mind.Wanders

First decent shot with the robe. I had just gotten it and asked my sister to snap a shot just beside the Student's Union :)

Family photo :)

This award is dedicated to my parents - unfortunately my dad was not able to join us in Sheffield but he watched the live streaming of the event and he texted me and said that he was 'as happy as he would be in the hall with me'. 

THANK YOU AYAH, FOR EVERYTHING <3

Dear Maryam,

I remember the days when we used to pray for your existence,

And now that you've come into our lives, 

You are everything and exactly what we prayed for, 

A beautiful girl, such a sweet heart, who brings love and joy into mama and daddy's lives.

You make our lives hundred times more cheerful,
Even that is an understatement.

Daddy kisses you everyday for more than 20 times, 

Says he couldn't help it, you're too adorable. 

He changes your nappy and tells you he loves you countless times throughout your life.

Even when you'd poo and pee right after a new clean nappy,
And we'd just laugh it out, saying that you are so cute. 

Mama couldn't stand to see you cry and always want to cuddle you to make sure you feel safe in my arms, 

I would always stare at your beautiful face while you were sleeping and say my Alhamdulillah,

To The Most Gracious and the Provider Allah swt,

For lending you into our lives and granting our prayers.

I love how your tiny fist would grab onto my finger while you feed,
And right after, you would smile like the world is yours,
Your smile is the most beautiful smile I have ever seen,

And I love how your hands always fly around in the air,

And how you always make funny faces using that tiny lips on yours,
And those beautiful glittery eyes that would shine and light up our world,

I fell in love with you the moment you came out of me, 

Greeting at the whole world.

Maryam, 

Even before you were born, you were so loved by many,
You received many prayers, warm wishes and gifts from lots of aunties and uncles,

A lot of people wanted to see you when you arrived,
Be it through photos, or asking if they can come over to meet the little one,
Your grandparents were so excited about you even before they met you,
Your grandmother (my mother) would have been happy to see you if she was still here with us,
Because you look just like me when I was little,
I guess it could be your reminder of me when I'm no longer around.

Dear Maryam,

I have nothing to offer you except the doa of a mother,

Which your existence turned me into,

For the doa of a mother is a powerful one,

I pray that you are always under the protection of Allah swt,

Be in the right path that leads yourself and us into Jannah. 

I am writing this as you are sleeping beside me,
I miss you even when you're around. 

Remember Maryam, be kind to people, and spread love and happiness to the people around you,
So that people treat you nicely and are happy with your presence,
Like how we are with yours.

JANUARY

GRANADA, SPAIN WITH FAMILY

I was sort of in a bit of a rut during the past month or so, so I wasn't feeling my best and was feeling a little homesick. Well, Allah swt knows best and he sent my family over here during the perfect timing. We made some trips within the UK and then went off to Spain. I had always wanted to bring my dad on a holiday, you know, as a thank-you-for-everything kinda trip, but have never really been able to afford to pay the full holiday yet, haha, so I organised the trip and chipped in on what I could. :p


Us with the view of the Alhambra Palace in the background.

I gotta say, Spain has never really made it into my bucket list, but I somehow enjoyed it so much! We went to Granada and it was remarkably beautiful! We also snuck in a day trip to Mount Sierra Nevada, though we didn't do any snow activities, we enjoyed the cold mountain breeze, the snow and colourful skiers against the white background view.
More on my trip to Spain here.

MARCH

FOUND OUT I WAS PREGNANT

This was a very shocking new to Fizal and I, but of course, the best unexpected news ever! I would say that my pregnancy journey had been smooth, Alhamdulillah. I didn't have any morning sickness (hence why it was very unexpected) and I wasn't really craving for anything - well, except keropok lekor (but then again, I've always loved keropok lekor and it was unable to be identified whether it was pregnancy craving or just 'Hannah's normal craving', hahaha). We went for our routine appointment at University Health Service at the University of Sheffield and scans at Jessop Wing Hospital, Sheffield. Everything went well, Alhamdulillah. 

JUNE

EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND

Went for a short trip to Edinburgh with a few friends. We rented a car and drove up north. It was a refreshing couple of days, and I guess you could call it our 'summer holiday', since I never really went anywhere else since we found out I was pregnant (and was also busy with PhD stuff). We had a great time just leisurely walking through the city, had coffees at some nice cafés, went to the street markets, (and also into some cool Harry Potter shops!), had some nice food with a nice group of friends. You know what they say, its not about where you travel to, but who you travel with!

In front of Edinburgh Castle.

JULY

FOUND OUT BABY'S GENDER

I never really minded whether the baby was a boy or a girl, but we were so excited to find out the gender so we can buy some baby clothes already! And yes, it was a girl! We were ecstatic and more importantly she was healthy! And obviously, we started hunting for cute baby girls clothing! (and now she has toooo many clothes! (-.-)

NOVEMBER

BABY MARYAM'S ARRIVAL

Aw, look at those tiny little hands!

The biggest highlight of the year, and probably my life too - where Allah swt has granted what we prayed for; a beautiful, well and healthy baby MashaAllah. The delivery went smoothly too and I was in labour for only about 2 hours I think. Maryam was born in Jessop Wing Hospital, Sheffield, and the feeling was indescribable. And with that, 2018 ended with me becoming a mother :')

We didn't go for many trips this year like we had in previous years, but this the journey of our lifetime. One we look forward to very much, and so far, it's been amazing. :)

Harini tarikh lahir Mak. If she was still with us, she'd turn 59 on this day. This year also marks 10 years since she left us. How time flies. It felt just like yesterday you held my hand and we were talking, and I still remember the moment when I read Surah Yasin while you were sleeping on the hospital bed. It hurts too much to even remember those days, but I'm sure you are in a better place now, because your children and your family never stops thinking and praying for you in our prayers. We miss your love so dearly everyday for the past 10 years. 

Kids, you've never met your grandmother, but this is she - a beautiful woman with a beautiful soul. Semoga Mak dalam lindungan Allah s.w.t. dan sentiasa dirahmati dan tergolong dalam golongan orang-orang yang beriman, Amin. 

3 years of our marriage was celebrated intimately with our close friends here in Sheffield. Not only that, we also celebrated Fizal being a year older on that very same date, hehe. I remember how we were surprised when our friends brought in and sang him a birthday song on our wedding reception.

Photo after our akad nikah. :)

This past year has been as wonderful as ever, I have nothing to complain about, but, rather thankful to Allah s.w.t. for all the love and happiness we've been given in our marriage. I baked some brownies for Fizal's birthday that we loveeee so much and have been making them quite frequently in the past 2 years, (so there's no harm in making some more on this special day! :P).



 Later that night, we had dinner at SA-HA Steak House, (one of the very few halal steak houses in Sheffield) with our close friends, whom we called our 'Sheffield family'. :)

One of our friend even baked Fizal another cake for his birthday (yummy moist chocolate cake!). All in all, it was a nice dinner - with great company - in a cosy restaurant that serves really delicious steak - of various types! fuuhh! Perfecto!

The restaurant even provided us with some plates for the cake slices.

*drools*





All of us together :)

Later that night, some of us hanged out at our house for some brownies and tea, and late night talks and few rounds of card games (Monopoly Deal).

This post is specially dedicated to Fizal, who has been my support system, provided me his shoulders to lean on, embraced all the journeys with me, through thick and thin. Happiest birthday to you and happy 3rd anniversary. May this love continues to grow and our marriage is blessed with lots of barakah, happiness, good family and guides us through the right path.  

I've never written a post dedicated to anyone before, but this one holds a special place in my heart. My best friend, Ika, just tied the knot recently and I can't be there to witness her special day. The day was even more special because it was also on her birthday!

So here's how our friendship started about 16 years ago (from the year 2001-ish), when we both lived in Manchester, UK. We met at a sports day that was organised by the Malaysian society in Manchester at the time. We got along pretty well for a first-time meeting, and right after the event, she had invited me to her house. I went, and we talked about so many things (really funny and embarrassing things! haha) and we grew closer since. It really felt like we've known each other forever since we got along pretty well in a short period of time. For about almost 2 years in Manchester, we did so many things together (i.e. played basketball almost every afternoon after school, walked to school together, went camping and various other trips together) and created such great memories, until it was finally time for us to part, temporarily. My family left and went back to Malaysia for good. 

We kept in touch through sending each other letters and updating each other on our lives after that. It wasn't frequent, but pretty consistent until Ika was finally coming back to Malaysia. We were both soooo excited to see each other again and I remember our first meeting after she had come back was at KLCC. From then on, we continued being friends, until today. 

She's the person, whom I don't always meet (because we don't live close enough to meet very often), but whenever I propose any activities or go somewhere, she never says no. She'd come all the way, and took the public transport for about an hour to meet me. She agrees to join me on any trips without any excuses or hesitation. Even if she has other things in schedule, she will always try to make it. Whatever hardship she is faced, she smiles and is always so positive - a strong lady indeed. This post is just to remind me to always be grateful for the people that come into my life and makes my life so much more meaningful.  (I'm not always this cheesy or a sweet talker, but meh, this post is once in a lifetime kinda post, haha).

Here are some very random (and very embarrassing) photos of us at different times during our friendship:

This was our first meeting at KLCC after Ika had come back from the UK. I think this photo was taken around 2006-ish. 


Hanging out at a 'mamak' corner after our Manchester reunion in 2010.


 We volunteered at the BSN Putrajaya Night Run (2011), just because we didn't wanna run it. Haha. (and OMG, those faces).


Hiking up Gunung Datuk (2011). Ika was afraid of height so it took her some time to pull herself together (I think she threw up somewhere) to reach the very peak.

Hike up Mount Kinabalu, 2012. It was drizzling at the time, hence the rain poncho. :p


She joined me on my office's Family Day at A'Famosa, Melaka (2012)


Trip to Gua Tempurung and Cameron Highland (2012).


Setting up a campfire during our wild camping at Bukit Tabur (2012).


Sat down by the sidewalk after we walked the World Hunger Relief Walk - with our oily faces after the walk. Haha (2012). 

 She sent me off at the airport when I was going to the UK for my Masters degree (2012). (Yeah, I cried. haha) 
An impromptu trip to Port Dickson (2014). We departed late at night and reached PD a little after midnight. This was when we heard the news of the MH370 disappearing, (may their souls rest in peace). 


Trip to Universal Studios Singapore (2014).

Girls trip to Perhentian Island (2016) when I was back in Malaysia for 3 weeks from the UK. 

Although we've been friends for so long, we don't really have that many photos of just the two of us together. These are pretty much most of them. Oh wait! there was one when we just finished climbing  2058 steps of KL Tower for the KL Tower International Towerthon Challenge 2014, but we both looked so bad and sweaty I wouldn't dare to spoil the bride-to-be's image. hahaha.

Now, she's just started a new phase of life with the one she chose to be her lifetime partner. I wish her all the very best in the years to come and that her life as a wife is always filled with love, happiness, and barakah. 

Her wedding reception (05.11.16)

Until then!